I HATE COWS

Last weekend  we went for a walk in the wooded foothills which is part of the Jura mountain range near my home.  I have vowed never to take the scenic panoramic views for granted and I am lucky to own a dog that needs regular exercise.  I suppose spending the first 30 odd years of my life in amongst inner city concrete monstrosities  helps me to appreciate the natural beauty of the surrounding countryside.

Although not cows, cow flies, cow pats and cow fields.

♫ We are happy cows we chew the cud and browse. ♬   Sorry don’t know where that came from.

I actually believe cows hate humans and behind those fluttering eye-lashes are secretly plotting their revenge, but that’s just me.

We climbed a mini mountain, rested at the top to smoke, daydream and contemplate. We could see our garden and even the outline of the plants in it.  I often wish I could share the disbelieving joy of my transformed circumstances with those who knew me of old.

Sadly prolonged exposure to urban environments, especially ones blighted by abounded shopping trollies, broken glass and white dog poo seems to zap any desire in my old friends to come and see such wonder.

No time to view a simple contorted landscape covered in trees, a shaped hillock that resembles a sleeping Diplodocus.

A circling hawk, in the last shimmers of this year’s summer, bird song, rustlings  and the not so melodic CLANK of COW BELLS!!!

I can still hear those Black country echoes of “Ay you got a chippy?” And “Mom is it Friday ere too?” How quickly this makes me aware I am no longer the boy I once was.

We cross the “Valley of the Amiesen” -giant ants- an untrodden path. I have to swipe away spider traps that tickle my face and clamber over rocks and crevices which I now do with out so much as a moan.

Creatures no longer faze me. Well not much.  I see evidence of deer and foxes, watch lizards scuttle by.

I’m now an intrepid explorer undeterred by obstacles like fallen trees and overgrown pathways.

We walk for hours.

Totally knackered we spy a barbed wire fence, which we jokingly regard as a symbol that we have finally made it back to civilisation.

Then we notice a field full of cows, which forces us city dwellers to cowardly turn back the way we came.

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……….

To celebrate the LAUNCH of my EPIC FAN PAGE…..

I have posted the first two chapters of my novel –PAULYANNA- for general opinions and review. Please be gentle with me.

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