1st Jubilee


Thursday the 25th of September 2014 marks the first jubilee, a mini publication-celebration, for Paulyanna International Rent-Boy.

Obviously the Pulitzer People haven’t finished reading my HUGE slab of a book. The 142,000 words, some of them big, have ALL been professionally edited. I’ve worked out it will take roughly 9 years of sales to get back into the black… But you’re worth it…

<cut to> Fond downward glance. I really must stop talking to inanimate objects. My paperback copy is close at hand. Just within reach… it’s a touch dusty, my special waft and flutter edition.

I should flap it around more often… pffft dust… Maybe not.

So, in brief, my year began armed with a copy of the Writers’ & Artists’ handbook 2014. With the loftiest of expectations, I confidently approached the REAL WORLD as if I were a manic fledgling swallow… So brazen, I even TELEPHONED a handful of publishers and spoke to their chirpy receptionists… Behind sympathetic veils of suppressed tittering, I received, more often than not, a standard response, “We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.” Booooo!

There were a few publishers in the W&A handbook that did accept unsolicited work. I flew through all of their submission hoops, hundreds of them, most of which were tiny. The optimistic swallow that fledged boldly was unfortunately about to be sucked into the jet turbines of indifference.

To a non-conformist outcast rebel lugging a huge chip of rejection, compliance was a strenuous chore that cringed me out. I was, after all, attempting to promote what’s left of my revolutionary lifestyle. My guttersnipe attitude. AND they had me dotting ts and formatting text to fit precisely. I got seven rejections. Each dismissal drew forth fresh crimson beads on my old childhood scars… It was mentally excruciating so I quickly quit asking if I could play.

I then began my self-promotion overdrive. My desire to create found a new outlet, advert images, and it didn’t matter that I couldn’t draw. I had iDraw and cut & paste… There are issues, I’m sure, regarding the copyright of pictures from the net, so I utilised a simple advanced search option which allows you to source only the usable. I gave myself a simple brief: EYE-CATCHING, and, if possible, something with a vague connection to the book Paulyanna International Rent-boy.

I had nothing better to do (except begin writing the follow-up to a story nobody knows) so I made over 100 adverts and posted them wherever I could. I came across a few phobics along the way and was blocked, banned and insulted, which did pee me off. Gay, straight, it mattered not; some people are just big meanies. It was ALWAYS the talentless that threw around the harshest criticism. I didn’t rise to any of it, even if every fibre in me instinctively wanted to go all street on ‘em. I discovered I much prefer making adverts than posting them.

To date I have sold 54 copies of my book. I haven’t joined KDP. I believe if people invest time and cash they are already on my side and will (probably) not slate it with a bad review. Regardless of sales figures, I have begun writing my second novel, Playing Out, but I won’t say more at this stage. Like a 1000 piece jigsaw, I have located and placed only three corner tiles in my construction of its frame (1st draft). I plan to release it sometime in 2015.




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